Todd, Mom, and I arrived at Children's hospital somewhere around 3:30 I believe. Todd was able to register without any trouble. The worker told Todd that he would have to go to the NICU and fill out some paperwork before Mom and I would be allowed onto the floor. He went up and we began to wait, and wait. There wasn't even a waiting room for us to stay in. We heard from Todd about 45 minutes - an hour into our wait. He said he hadn't been able to see Wayne yet because he was told they were running tests so he couldn't go into the room. Mom and I got very tired of waiting on backless wooden benches so we finally went outside for a while. About three hours after we got there I decided to ask the receptionist (at a different location than the first one we talked to) a question that I don't even remember now what it was. She answered and then asked why we had been sitting there so long. I told her we had been told we had to wait to be able to go upstairs. She got a puzzled look on her face and asked who had told me that. I told her the woman at the first desk. She said there was no reason we had to wait down there. She got our ID and made up our badges and let us go to the waiting room upstairs where Todd was.
When we arrived on the 4th floor Todd had just finally gotten to see the baby. He took Mom back to Wayne's room immediately. Todd's sister in law arrived with the other kids about that time. I cannot remember who went back next but I suppose it doesn't matter. I think Todd took each of the kids back one at a time. Mom went back with Kristi (Todd's sister in law) and me.
As I had expected everything hadn't really sunk in until I saw him. He hadn't quite been real nor had his terrible sickness. When I saw him I fell in love immediately. I had been told at the other hospital that I wouldn't get to touch him but when we got here they said we could. That was quite a wonderful surprise. His little leg was so soft and new born feeling. I just played and played with his leg and toe. I am pretty sure that was when my heart began to break.
When I had to walk away from him it was rough. The details of this next part are pretty fuzzy. I am struggling to remember what happened next. I know there was some more waiting in the waiting room. I am pretty sure mom and Todd spent some time with the doctor while he told them they were considering doing ECMO and explained what that was.
Later in the evening it was decided that Todd was going to go back to the other hospital to stay the night with Monica and I would stay here at Children's with Wayne. Parents are the only one allowed to stay the night so the nurses went to bat for me and got permission from all the people. When they came in to tell me I was allowed to stay they said they weren't allowed by law to tell me anything. She said even though being in the room I was going to be able to tell if something was wrong and hear them talk they couldn't answer any questions. I wasn't thrilled with that idea but I wasn't about to argue with them. I was thankful just to be allowed to stay.
Mom left with Kristi and the kids at 9:30. Todd stayed in the room until well after 10:00 while the doctor went through more about ECMO.
After Todd left I stayed by the baby for a while. The doctor came in and did something then asked me if I had any questions. The nurse looked at him and said "We told her we couldn't tell her anything. Don't make liars out of us." Dr. S. said "She has bedside permission which means she can know anything there is to know." I was yelling "YES!" on the inside. :)
Not long after that I was told they were going to have to put a PICC line in so I would have to leave the room for about 20-30 minutes. Leaving him was incredibly hard. Each time I left the room that night I didn't know what would happen and if he would still be there when I came back.
I couldn't help but cry all the way down the the long hallways. When I was walking past the last station before leaving NICU the receptionist (or what ever she was) asked me if I was okay. She came around the desk and ask if she could give me a hug. She talked with me for a minute and was so sweet.
I tried to rest in the waiting room but could't get comfortable on the love seat. I just decided to lay the blanket they gave me on the floor and sleep there. I also had a sheet and pillow they gave me. Not long after I laid down a security guard came in and asked to see my badge. He told me that he had been told who I was and that I was staying but I had to go downstairs and have my badge initialed. When I got downstairs they told me one of the parents had seen me and noticed my badge had a V and not a P (visitor not parent) on it and had "turned me in" asking if I was allowed to be up there. It ended up working out nicely because they gave me a pass card so I could go through the NICU door ways without having to have the nurses stations buzz me in. With as many times as I had to go back and forth through the night it was NICE to have. I probably would have gotten on peoples nerves. I was planning to just stay in the room but that didn't happen.
Until Next time -